Why Your Words Can Make or Break You: Talk Smart, Not Too Much!

You probably judged this article based on its looks and its title before even knowing what is written inside of it.

Don't worry, you're human, I get it.

That is how our nature works.

And that is exactly the reason why you must watch out.

People judge from the information that they have.

The thing you control is the information that you provide.

Not only that, people talk, they will always do, we are social animals, it's in our nature.

When people only have a part of the information and not the full map, let's say the story gets told partly and will never come across.

I struggled with this big time, I am a talker, and that gave people the opportunity to create a view of me without knowing me but based on the stories they heard, or the stories that are being told.

I had a conversation about this with one of my mentors, and he told me to watch out and be careful for my own sake, with when and where to talk.

Girls don't like it if you talk about other girls with them, especially if you talk good about them.

I discovered that this principle goes further than only talking about girls with girls.

That is why we will dive into the topic "when to talk, what to say" we dive specifically into the Topics:

• Don't share everything

• Where to share

• What to share

You will have a better concrete view on how to build your way up into certain circles, and a better view on things that you must watch out for.

Don't Share Everything

It's beneficial not to share everything in detail.

You can share the basics, and people will have enough information without needing detailed specifics.

You can leave things partly a mystery, and it won't cause any harm.

When I enthusiastically talk about something, I can delve into detail and start oversharing.

But what is the added value of it?

Not much, because you help the people you're talking to create a story that can work against you.

They form a view of you based on how you come across and what you tell.

People consciously or subconsciously judge, and they carry their judgment into other conversations.

A story can turn into a shared opinion and judgment about you without you realizing it.

When I was about 18 years old, I would always talk about the stock market.

I would discuss the potential money I could make and all the possibilities, without having any results, only talking about the 'what ifs' and how I would live in that 'what if', while still being broke.

This created an image of me as a greedy person.

People expected me to pay for them because I invested my money, and when I said I couldn't do something because I didn't have the money, people got irritated with me.

I understand now why - because of my enthusiasm, my actions were not aligned with my words.

I talked too much without realizing it, getting caught up in my enthusiasm, and therefore created this image of myself.

It's better to say less and keep things a mystery than to say too much.

Then again, what is the added value of it?

Nothing but ego, as far as I know now.

This is something I am still learning and am much better at now than before, but it's still not my strong suit!

Where to Share

Okay, so you should be holding back a little on what you're saying, right?

But a lot of it also depends on where you're saying it.

Of course, a little mystery is good everywhere, but with my partner, I should be able to pour my heart out and be really enthusiastic.

At least if you have a good partner, in my opinion.

With really close friends, it should be the same, but you need to be a bit more careful and still be critical.

Everyone outside of that range are the people you can be more mysterious to and should be a bit more careful.

Why?

You never know who is listening and what they exactly hear.

In a lot of circles, spaces, and networks, you need to build trust.

I work at two companies, a company is built and structured in a way that it wants to grow with the people they have, they use two matrices for that on which people they work with even the Navy Seals uses this.

It's trust and performance.

If someone performs really well, but cannot be trusted or is really toxic, you don't want that person around.

If someone performs poorly, but you can trust that person, there is potential for growth and that person probably stays.

If someone performs mediocrely, but you can really trust that person, you're good.

And if you're being trusted and perform well, you're settled.

When I talk a lot of really good stuff about one company to the other, my trust falls down, and my chances for growth decline.

A lot of business people use the sentence "Can I talk freely or openly?"

They want to protect their trust, so that is a way of managing it.

This matrix can be used in life and in business.

In business, results are easy to track, but in life, you can think of examples like:

• Keeping your word

• Putting in effort

• Showing that you understand the other

Create a consciousness over the circles you're in and think about the things that are handy to talk less about to certain people, to help future you!

What to Share

We discussed the importance of not sharing too much, and how trust can be gained or lost depending on what you share and in what context.

So, what can you share?

There are certain aspects that significantly influence how people perceive you, specifically positivity and negativity.

You should always share the positive aspects of your situation as it positively influences you, your surroundings, and people's perception of you.

Being known as a positive person is not a bad thing, so it's always beneficial to spread positivity.

On the other hand, negativity, such as complaining or talking down about things or people, is something you should avoid for your own sake and for others.

So, let negativity dissipate and focus on spreading positivity for an upward spiral.

Talk this way

To put everything together, be careful with what you share and become conscious of the image certain things can create.

People judge, and judgement can cause stories to start living their own lives.

Know your inner circles where you can share everything.

My own inner circle, where I don’t have to watch my words and can always share anything, includes my best friend and my girlfriend, for which I am really grateful.

Beyond them, I am working on my consciousness of what I share with whom.

In this way, I hope to create a better position for myself with more opportunities and higher trust.

I am not lying; if people ask something, I will tell the truth. What I am doing is not saying everything.

Furthermore, I focus on spreading positivity to encourage my surroundings, and don’t give negativity attention, letting it dissipate into the air.

If you found everything stated in this article of value, share it because then it can be of value to someone else as well.

If you're new, subscribe to the article to get some free value in your mail every week.

If you want more!!

• To connect with me for any type of questions or a quick chat, follow me on Instagram and send me a DM. Click here

• If you want to see more content and learn, you can subscribe to my YouTube channel. Click here

• Follow me on twitter/X if you want some daily knowledge to consume. Click here

• Same here for Tik-Tok. Click here

That's it for now.

I wish you a good day - Job Baltes.