The Symphony of Self: How Being Alone Can Make You a Better You

Be alone to become better together.

When I was a child, my biggest fear was to be alone in a super crowded place.

I felt uncomfortable and thought of it as overwhelming.

It made me feel lonely, focusing on everybody except for myself.

As I got older, it improved, and I learned to focus more on myself, which helped me to be less insecure as well.

Being alone can be scary, I get it.

Being alone lets you confront your thoughts that you maybe don’t want to confront.

You can become bored when you're alone.

But it's all worth it to overcome.

And I am not talking about being alone with music on, scrolling on your phone, sucked into the online world.

I am also not talking about being alone and reading a book.

I am talking about doing nothing without stimulants for a while.

Going on long solo walks without a podcast or music, leaving your phone home.

Being alone with yourself to really be.

What we are going to talk about in this article is:

• Why we don’t like to be alone

• The importance of being alone

• Being "me" brings a better "we"

Why We Don't Like to Be Alone

Some people enjoy solitude and are quite content, while others can't stand it.

Nowadays, people are seldom truly alone, with constant stimuli coming from our phones, or we seek them out by playing music.

If you don't enjoy solitude, it could be due to several factors.

For instance, do you identify as an introvert, extrovert, or ambivert?

Extroverts are driven by social contact, while introverts are naturally more solitary.

Ambiverts fall somewhere in between.

What are your conscious or unconscious associations with being alone?

Perhaps you've felt abandoned before, like being left as a child or experiencing a breakup, and associate loneliness with being unloved.

A fear of being alone can also stem from a lack of self-confidence.

In my case, feeling alone in a crowded place stemmed from a lack of self-confidence.

Many people fear solitude because they haven't learned how to be comfortable on their own.

They consistently seek company, having never discovered how to enjoy activities independently.

So, there are many reasons. It could also be that.

You don't want to confront something, or yourself, and the thoughts that pop up when you're alone.

The Importance of Being Alone

It is important to be alone sometimes.

We are conditioned to be social animals.

From long ago, we've gathered in groups, lived closely in villages, and worked together.

But research has also shown that spending time alone can increase your creativity.

You can more quickly enter an undisturbed creative flow without the opinions of others, and therefore, there's no reason to hold back in your thoughts.

When you are alone, you can sort out your thoughts more easily and tune in with yourself.

Alone time can help us regulate emotions.

You will understand yourself better if you spend more time alone with your thoughts.

You have time to reflect and learn better to embrace yourself for who you are.

The better you know yourself, the more likely you are to do things that you love, learn things that interest you, and spend time with people who make you feel good.

Being alone is a good opportunity to set some goals and think about what you want and where you want to go.

The philosophers were able to become who they were because of the time they had for themselves.

They had time to bore themselves and in that way ask questions and think.

In my first solo trip to Budapest in December of 2023, I experienced a variety of things, but mainly had time for myself to do what I wanted without regulations.

It felt free.

It also was uncomfortable sometimes, like going to a restaurant alone for the first time, but it was worth it, and actually really nice.

I also had time to sort out some thoughts and took time to reflect besides sightseeing.

I came home with more peace and clarity in my head.

Being "me" brings a better "we"

Creatures are often named after what they do in many languages:

• Fly

• Duck

• Anteater

We are called human beings, so what we do is simply be.

Learn to be your version of "me."

You learn to be by fully accepting every part of yourself, the good and bad sides, all the things you have done or not done.

Being gives us the power to become conscious of our choices.

Accepting is, in the end, just another choice that you make.

You learn to deal with yourself, know who you are by being conscious.

Know you are a "me" and see yourself as an individual.

"Individual" means one, which means that you are your "me" in every form.

• Your ego

• Your pride

All are part of "me" as one individual.

Embrace that.

If you are a good "me," you can be a more valuable "we."

That is, in simple words, why it's good to be alone, to be in your version of "me," to become a better "we."

Alone or together?

Yes, there is power in being alone i think that is clear.

That does not mean you always have to be alone.

I conclude that it's really valuable to give yourself some alone time and not always be with others to become better together if you are with others.

I had to learn to be alone.

Overcoming loneliness is quite a task but nice when it is done.

Give it time and try it out, start simple:

• Take a walk alone without a phone or music.

• Set a timer for 1 hour and during that hour, do nothing except write out your thoughts.

• If you want to go to the next level, book a trip alone and deal with yourself there without distractions.

Time alone allows us to appreciate our time with others more, rather than taking it for granted or feeling overwhelmed by it.

But in the end, it is good to realize that we come and go alone to the earth.

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That's it for now.

I wish you a good day - Job Baltes.